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10th October, 2024 - Congratulations you f*****g b*****d

Writer's envy is real.


I know this because I routinely feel it in response to another writer's success. They rarely post on social media - but when they do, it's typically because of some writing project they've had success with. The latest of which: they've just scored a 3-book publishing deal.


Now I should make it clear that my first and foremost reaction is one of genuine joy. I care very much about this individual and seeing them succeed is a wonderful thing to experience. I always knew this person would go on to be a successful writer and it's thrilling to see it happen and think about the times we shared when we were just starting out.


But it also brings to mind, quickly after the initial joy dissipates, the sharp reality of how different our paths are. When I imagined the future success of this writer, I thought of it in tandem with my own. That we would both be going into a future of writerly success. Now it feels as if they are running towards a finishing line whilst I'm falling over trying to get my shoes on.


I know that their success has come off the back of continuous hard work over a sustained period. I've also known for a while that I need to step it up a notch when it comes to my commitment to just write and keep writing. This is, I think and hope, where the good side of envy starts to kick in. It becomes a motivating force to double down on my writing.


It's amazing to see people you care about enjoy success, though it may be hard to swallow when the thing they're succeeding in is exactly what you want to be doing. I try my best to keep seeing it as an opportunity to push. I also try to remind myself that even if our journeys are happening at different speeds, there's no rush and no monopoly on achieving success in the things you're most passionate about.


Just got to keep on truckin'.

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