This evening I shared my writing for the first time as part of the Goldsmiths course I'm attending each week. I was feeling very nervous. I haven't opened myself to criticism in this way since university, and that was a very different environment. I'm not sure what reaction I was hoping for or expecting, but I ended up feeling genuinely overwhelmed by how nice and considerate the responses were. One classmate used the word beautiful. A word I wouldn't think applied to my work but a word I was honoured to hear. There were meaningful discussions around the structure, form and layers of meaning. People were pulling things out of the story I hadn't even considered myself - something I've done so many times with writers I admire, and here was a group of people doing it for something I wrote! This evening has given me such a boost in confidence and such a feeling of relief and reassurance in myself. I'm going to ride this high for as long as I can. The work I'm doing is paying off - I just need to keep going.
There comes a point whenever I'm writing a short story where it feels like I lose control of it.
Somewhere along the line, it morphs into a sticky globular lump that can't be made sense of.
How to push past this phase is something I've yet to figure out. I suspect that it's endless revision and re-writing. Something I've always struggled to keep the momentum with.
I may switch to another project so I can have some relief between revisions on this one. But I will try and push this through some edits. I expect this is the story I will be sharing with my course in a couple of weeks so it would be good to revise as much as I can.